Yesterday
by LostInDisney
Summary: So I already uploaded this but didn't like it so I rewrote it full story in A/N anyway Spencer is at a loss after losing Emily, he goes to her grave to find a way to move on and to remember yesterday story better than summary plz R R


Yesterday

**Hi guys, so I already have uploaded this story and then my English teacher told us we had to write a story for coursework towards my GCSE. So me being me I rewrote this one changed the names and handed it in. when I read over the other yesterday I didn't really like it so I am changing it to this one so hope you prefer it if not let me know thanks Rhianxx.**

It had been three weeks, five days, twelve hours and twenty five minutes since Emily had died. She was here one moment and then gone the next. Spencer had been glued to the same spot by her graveside for three weeks. Trying to make sense out of what had happened, trying to make sense out of losing Emily, never waking up with her next to him, never feeling the warmth of her skin against his, the taste of her soft lips on his. It had only been a few weeks, yet it felt like an eternity.

Spencer thought the saddest thing of all was that he never noticed. Not once. Emily wasn't just his friend. She was his lover. He loved her and she had felt the same way. So if he loved her so much why hadn't he noticed something was off with her, she'd been avoiding his calls and acting erratically. Why wasn't he there when she needed him? Why couldn't he protect her? Living had become a challenge. He struggled to get up in the mornings, each breath he took physically hurt, he knew in his heart that it wasn't going to get better. He'd loved Emily with such an intensity he knew he could never get over it. He would never wake up one morning and it would be a distant memory, it would be burning him till he inevitably took his last breath, when he hoped if there was some kind of afterlife, she would be there waiting for him

_6 months earlier_

_"__Hey,__Spence__are__you__asleep?__" __Emily__ asked__ him __quietly._

"_Mmm what is it?" He asked sleepily, looking down at Emily who was gazing at him her head resting in his chest._

"_I wanted to talk to you" She smiled "Sorry do you want to go back to sleep?" _

"_No it's fine, what's wrong?" he asked, he could listen to Emily all day her voice gave him strength._

"_I don't want you to get mad at me and I wasn't snooping or anything" She said looking down, a sign that she was feeling guilty or ashamed._

"_What are you talking about?" Spencer asked confused. He placed his hand under her jaw and tilted her face so he was looking into her chocolate eyes._

"_Well earlier I was looking for a shirt in your drawer and I sort of found a jewellery box, I didn't look in it I swear but…" She trailed off she looked up to see it he was angry, but he was smiling at her while stroking her back: her creamy flesh as soft as butter._

"_You found it then, I suppose that's better I mean I've been carrying it around for almost two months" He smiled._

"_Spence, you've lost me" She said, trying to not to jump to conclusions of what may be in the box._

_He rolled over and pulled on his boxers before walking over to the drawers, Emily sat up and pulled the duvet around her "Spence, what are you doing?" She asked, running a hand through her raven hair._

"_Relax Em" He smiled. After rummaging around the drawer for a few minutes he finally found what he was looking for a small little box. He walked back over to Emily, who was looking extremely confused._

"_Umm Em… I- I sort of had this big speech planned in my head and everything but um I- I love you Emily and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, so…" he opened the box revealing a small platinum ring with a blue sapphire in the middle with two diamonds either side of it. The ring was stunning, her chocolate eyes widened with surprise and delight. "Will you marry me?" Spencer asked keeping eye contact with Emily._

"_A- are you being serious?" She asked shock encasing every word._

"_No, wasn't it you that said I had no sense of humour anyway" he smirked._

"_You better not be developing one now" She smiled before leaning in to kiss Spencer softly on the lips, she pulled back "Yes Spencer I'd love to marry you" She couldn't stop smiling as Spencer placed the ring onto her long finger. She leaned over and kissed him again. Emily pulled Spencer closer to her as she fell back onto the soft mattress._

Present_Day_

The night Spencer had proposed to Emily had been one of the best nights of his life; he couldn't believe she had said yes. If only he knew then the short time they had left, or should he say Emily had left. He kept the ring on a chain around his neck. He was going to give it to the doctor to put it back on the body, but he couldn't bring himself to hand over one of the last reminders of how happy he had been with Emily by his side.

When Spencer closed his eyes he could still feel her near him, it didn't feel like she was gone. But everything they had promised each other, secrets they shared, plans they'd made with each other they were all gone, they were and will now remain to be 'what ifs' all he had now was her memory but he wanted and needed the real thing.

The light was fading now: Darkness making its descent into the city. Spencer could remember sitting in the park with Emily shortly after her father had died. Spencer had been trying to reassure her that nothing would happen to him when she asked him 'how did any body know for sure how much time they had.' Spencer had tried to combat it with facts but he couldn't find the right words. Ironic as it was Emily was always worried that something would happen to him, he never imagined it would be the other way around

Spencer had never wished for anything in his life. Yet everyday he found himself wishing that he had more time with Emily, if not the rest of his life only one day for him to tell her how much she meant to him, how his world had begun to revolve around her, how making her happy was the only thing he cared about. Spencer prayed he could have a night with her, he missed feeling the warmth of another person in his bed, feeling her silky raven hair on his chest, the sound of her steady breathing and her melodic laugh. Spencer longed to see her smile again it spent sparks radiating through him when she smiled it lit up an entire room. Was one more time with her too selfish, if he had more time with her would it hurt to let her go again? Would letting her go one more time be the thing that tipped him over the edge to the point of no return…

_3 months earlier_

_"__Em? __Am __I__ allowed__ in__ yet?__" __Spencer__ asked __knocking __lightly__ on__ the__ bathroom__ door._

"_It's open." She replied. Spencer turned the handle to see that it was in fact open. He walked in to see Emily sat on the floor her back resting on the bathtub, he looked at her pale face and tear stained cheeks. He sat next to her, putting his arm around her._

"_You okay?" He asked. She rested her head on his shoulder closing her eyes as she inhaled his scent coffee and old books, he smelt like home to her._

"_I'm okay" She replied flatly._

"_Really because you've been locked in here for over an hour" He said in a slightly joking tone, trying to lighten the thick atmosphere. _

"_The doors been open" She replied._

"_What's wrong?" He asked her softly._

"_I took the test" She nodded her head to the small stick on the floor on the other side of the room._

"_And?" Spencer asked willing her to continue._

"_It's negative" She quietly replied._

"_Oh" Spencer said quietly he couldn't deny the sharp pang of disappointment, Emily was sure she was pregnant this time._

"_I know it's stupid to be upset over something I never had, I just…" She trailed off. Spencer could hear her sniffling._

"_Em, there's no rush for kids you know?" _

"_Spence, I don't want to wait forever to have a family" She said through tears._

"_I know that wasn't what I meant" He said pulling her closer to him. _

"_I know I just see you with Henry and I want that with you" She replied._

"_We will I promise" He kissed the top of her head inhaling her apple scented hair._

"_I love you" She said lovingly_

"_I love you too" He replied._

_They sat like that for the rest of the night._

Present day

All those promises he made were gone, smashed in an instant. He'd promised her that all they would one day have a family, they never did. He promised her he'd always be there to protect her and to take care of her, if he did that she wouldn't be dead. All of it was gone, broken more unkept promises and disappointments that seemed to shadow his and Emily's lives. Only this time there would be no 'maybe they'll remember, maybe it'll happen' because Emily was gone, never to return. She'd gone and taken part of him with her.

Death is an inevitable part of life. The only certainty. But when it happens it seems so unreal like it was never going to happen to that person. Spencer thought he had all the time in the world with Emily, but he was so wrong. Sometimes he'd think he'd see her walking down the street. When he'd catch up to her, he'd find it wasn't her but someone who looked similar. The logical part of his mind always told him it couldn't be Emily, she was here buried in the ground slowly decomposing. But something else made him hope that it was her. Losing someone you love is strange, sometimes he'd think maybe she will walk through his apartment door and everything would go back to normal.

The only the thing that stopped Spencer from tipping completely over the edge, was that he got to spend time with Emily, he got to be her friend. He got to love her and be the recipient of her love. Spencer would treasure that time and always think of what she was like behind closed doors: The vulnerability that she rarely showed. That behind her hard exterior was someone that wanted to be loved and he did that, he loved her with everything he had. He just wished that was enough to of kept her alive.

For over three weeks Spencer had been glued to the same spot by Emily's graveside… Everyday he was finding his life becoming more of a challenge… Everyday he was finding it harder to leave.

"_They can take everything, just take it away but they can never have yesterday"_

**So I hope you like it please leave reviews they make me smile. So yeah let me know if you like it.**


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